I first became pregnant when I was 18. I fell for the wrong guy for ALL the wrong reasons and at the very wrong time! I was young and stupid and didn’t even realize I was pregnant at first. I was partying a lot and didn’t slow down in time. The guy I was with already had a kid and did not want another. That kid didn’t slow him down at all either so he really wasn’t wanting to slow down for his new girlfriend! Shortly after I found out I was pregnant, I started bleeding. I knew that I was probably miscarrying. I didn’t know why that thought made me so sad. After all, I was young and up to that point I didn’t want kids at all. The more I thought about it though, I realized that I loved the life inside me. I ended up not saying anything to my mom for a week because I didn’t want to believe the baby was gone. By the time I said anything I was very sick and the hospital had to pump me full of fluids. They looked and looked for any sign that my baby was there; each time was devastating when they found nothing. Finally, they had to do a D&C to clean me out. I had never been so depressed before. I felt like my partying had killed my baby. There was an emptyness there that I had never felt before. It wasn’t until many years later that I learned that a lot of women lost their first pregnancies before they even knew they were they were pregnant. That fact made me feel a bit better but didn’t take away all the guilt I still feel to this day.
Hi! My name is Jaime and I am a SAHM to two wonderful girls. This blog is meant to help other parents find peace and calm in parenting. I will also share my adventures in some natural parenting methods like cloth diapering, elimination communication, and babywearing. My hope with this blog is that moms can find understanding and encouragement (even those of us that suffer from things like OCD and Bipolar).